turning 21 + parents visiting

29 November 2015
First things first: I TURNED 21!!!!!!

My parents came down for the week to celebrate so Faiz & I just took them around Melbourne & other suburbs in Victoria, just to jalan-jalan. Its always nice to see & spend time with my parents, eating in copious amount (speaking of which - should be illegal) & sightseeing. 

Another thing I wanna point out, if you've notice I've made my photos on my blog slightly larger than they usually are. This is because I want to make the photographs as immersive as possible. But it comes with a catch, the photos taken in landscape & square mode are fitted nicely on the screen where-as those taken in portrait are a bit stretched out :(
 I'll try and take more photos in landscape mode to accomodate for this change. Hehe.

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Days leading up to being 21


28 November 2015
This post is precisely 28 days late but no matter - it's here now :P 
Trying to get back into the flow of things and update more. I also got a new point & shoot camera. Been experimenting with slide film colours too. Buuuut..
More on that on the next post.

Anyway, its been about 2 to 3 weeks now since I deleted instagram & snapchat.. I still have facebook & twitter but I'm rarely on it!

The reasons are as follows: 
Disconnect to reconnect.

Its not my first time regaining control - I did something similar when I was in high school and I didn't have facebook (my equivalent of instagram then) for 4 years. I remembered how nice it was then to just disconnect & not be fussed with being peeping toms. 

What peeved me the most was this sudden self-realization that I was spending countless of hours every day scrolling through instagram & going through other people's snapchat but,
what was I gaining from it? 

Other than being an insufferable peeping tom, it did not benefit me or made my day more productive or more happy. I was just aimlessly wasting precious time. A form of distraction that didn't reap any form of gains, mentally or emotionally whatsoever.

If I was reading a book, watching a TV show or film - what I gained after was a plethora of different stories in different forms. It peeved me that my favourite activity (i.e. scrolling) was no way in form beneficial.

This was the mental trigger that led to me deleting 2 of my favourite social media platforms.

As a result...

I've gotten more shit done (no distractions = less time spent procrastinating),
I'm rarely on my phone scrolling endlessly, I've got a proper attention span now.. Started reading again & finished 6 books in the last week. I pay more attention during conversations.. 

I enjoy moments instead of focusing on 'what to upload' or 'whats #instaworthy' or 'what makes my feed more uniformed'. I've actually forgotten to enjoy being in the present & I'm not sure whether I'm more ashamed or more sad to admit that. 

Ok so maybe the way I dealt with things were a bit extreme - deleting everything cold turkey is hardly calling it mild. But extreme measures must be taken for an extreme person. 
I don't blame social media at all, if anything one should utilise it coz it is filled with an abundance of opportunities - the blame goes to my lack of self control. 

This is my own way of taking control of certain elements in my life & my refusal to be bound to something intangible & in limbo. 

All that matters is that I'm sooooooooo much happier & liberated from all the social media policies that govern us, one way or another. I'm not suggesting for you to delete everything like I did.
I'm simply stating the methods that work for me and the things I've done to make me a more fulfilled person. 

On a really really brighter note, 
I'll be updating my blog with more posts!!! This will be my sole medium for photo journalling. So I'm really, really excited for all of this to manifest :)

Enjoy - this is the month of October.

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My feeble attempt at being healthy. Don't let the greens fool you. 
I always snack like mad after.. 


29 October 2015
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iPhone 6s in ROSE GOLD.

iPhone. Rose Gold. Pink. My favourite colour... 
This year was a bit different, the past 2 years (iPhone 5s & iPhone 6 plus) I went and queued up for it at the store but this time I pre-ordered it online. I've never ordered phones online coz 
1) I don't have the patience
2) I don't have the patience
3) I don't have the patience

But this time I persevered and waited 2 weeks!!! I dunno if I wanna do it again though. I was SOOOO restless on the day it was meant to arrive. Kept checking the tracking number to see if its 'out for delivery' and pacing about the house. 



23 October 2015
Wow, 4th post in a month! I am on a roll!!!! Hahaha. I'm only updating so much coz I'm procrastinating with my last couple of essays for uni. I should teach a masterclass in 'procrastiblogging' or procrastinating full-stop.
Can't believe I'm done with week 12 & the first half of my degree.. 1.5 more years & I'll be done for good. How time flies huh. 

Anyway.. I've been getting the most wonderful input from family & friends alike in regards to my last post. I really do feel the immense love & support. I could never thank you guys enough. Truly.
It wasn't easy, talking about the things that I've fiercely protected. When I sent the first draft to my best friend, Bella - she was taken aback. For me to talk about something so personal & intimate was one thing, but to publicise an issue that had a profound impact on me to complete strangers was another. 

It didn't hinder my efforts, however. I felt it was about time I challenged these stigmas & make it okay to talk about these issues. It doesn't make you weak, or shallow, or vain - it just makes you human. We're always comparing ourselves with one another - our chapter to someone else's finished book. That sole act alone isn't fair. We then have to attain & carry out these unrealistic & impossible expectations. Everyone moves at a different pace. Just have faith and patience; you will get there. 

Enough banter, here are my photos for August. Fresh from winter break. First month of Year 2!!! Ok just realised this post is 12 weeks overdue -_- Sorry!!!

View on the morning I landed Melbourne. Remembered how freezing it was on the balcony when I took this photo. 5 DEGREES gg.com

how do you escape a battle that’s in your head?

21 October 2015

This seems out of the ordinary, a blog post under the label ‘purely text’. But I feel like I wouldn’t be doing myself justice if I suppressed this. Anyway, here goes…

For the longest time I struggled with my weight. 

I would subconsciously pinch areas underneath my arms, my legs, my chin & if I found that I’ve grabbed ahold of more flesh than usual, it would effectively put me in a bad mood.
Then the thoughts came after, in deafening waves. 
“You’ve gained weight.”
“How could you have let this happened.”
“You shouldn’t have ordered so much.” 
“Why are you so greedy.”

whenever I have a camera in my hand..

18 October 2015
.. I always fail to tell my stories in words.

Thanks to a little feedback from friends (actually, just one in particular - HI JEN!),
I've changed my blog's posts to a more convenient ~continue reading~ page break. To increase clickability and to facilitate ease in browsing through my previous posts.
So hopefully this little setting will improve everyone's browsing experience :)

Trying to regurgitate photos from my fuji as fast as possible so I can make way for the month of August + September. 

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